Update: It's not perfect, but I can draw again!!!
I was reading a NY Times article about silencing the inner critic. I may not be a writer—but I am an obsessive artist.
A couple years ago I had my perfectionism and negativity in check. My art style was created to evict that art critic. Now it's back... and stronger than ever.
I find myself unable to work—avoiding work—and destroying art before it goes anywhere.
It's a waste of time, and it's making me sick.
"You Are Crap"
Here's a sample of the negative anti-creative energy.
- I can't focus anymore, because my illness is worse.
- I'll never be as good as before.
- It's too painful to try.
- I can't think anymore. I'm dull. It's not worth trying.
- This doesn't feel good, so it mustn't be good.
- I'm really _____ frustrated at ______.
- This is wrong. Everything is wrong.
This is what I deal with when I try to draw; Other times, I am procrastinating. Forcing myself doesn't fix it.
What Was It Like Before?
When I'm free of negativity each moment is flowing creativity. Nothing stopped me from drawing all day every day—and I did. Nothing stopped me from feeling at my peak in each moment—and I always did.
I solve this, or I continue to be very sick and unhappy.
Thanks for the read!
Thank you for reading this. Please comment below with thoughts and feedback!
I've had some success in the war against my inner critic!