Art Journal #1: Depression or Creative Burnout?

Read this journal entry. It's about creative burnout, depression, and the struggle to create.

A messy drawing I drew in significant depressive state.

The day started out "meh" like recently. I'm depressed still. I might be suffering from creative burnout too.

The Compromise

I struggled to draw this afternoon, so I made a compromise. Drag my hand around, and not care about the results.

(And so, I created that portrait with the gross green background.)

It was a good start.

I Made Some Animations

I creatively flopped around afterwards, making some spaztic gif animations. I needed to create anything. (Anything!)

GIF animation of a girl. Drawing this gave me some energy!

With the EDM beats in my ears and the animations on screen spazzing out, I felt something (feelings!!) The visual noise came together into something more meaningful. I caught a wave (you know, like surfer language.)

It made me wonder how much of my creative difficulty was depression...

Creative Burnout? vs Depression

Creative burnout and depression behave so similarly, I wonder if they're the same thing. Or maybe they are close neuro-cousins.

My Main Art is a Drag.

It seems the depression is amplifying my creative burnout. I just can't do what I consider my main artwork without making a face, of sorts. You know like when you smell rotten meat?

So... What Next?

I don't know. Creative burnout is a complicated issue, and overcoming it can be difficult. Plus I am depressed as well. Anyways, lots of things for me to consider in the long and short term. Gonna sleep on it.

Extra Art Goodies:

Two more pieces that didn't fit with the text. They look unassuming but creating them gave me a shot of energy. Something I haven't felt much of lately. Sometimes the most important artwork is the stuff that no one else sees!

Thanks for the read!!

I hope you'll enjoy these journal entries. The typical blog format just doesn't do it for me. Please leave a comment below with feedback (or a hello!)

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